COVID-19 has changed a lot of things in our world right now, and on top of that I’ve been going through some personal changes lately too. Stuff like a getting diagnosed with Lymphoma, moving to a new state, getting used to new environments... 

Last December I learned I might possibly be dealing with a tremendously life-changing illness. Remember how I used to have hair down to my waist and I don’t anymore?

Because of cancer. 

I have been thinking about the changes that have happened in me when I realized that I have cancer, and they were thinking that my MRI showed bone cancer. These huge things that impact our lives change the way we interact with other people around us.

I sat in my doctor’s office crying, alone, and looking at blurry black and white images showing this huge mass in my leg, and realizing there was a reason I had been in such incredible chronic pain over the last 14 months. All of a sudden the reasons I typically tried to filter my message or tiptoe around things that needed to be said more strongly—all those reasons fell away. 

If cancer was going to give me only "this much" time left with my children, only a specific timeframe to speak the message God has given me, if lymphoma was going to shorten the time I have ahead of me —

How would I say it differently? 
How would I do it differently? 

All my life I've heard people say we should “Live each day like Jesus is coming tomorrow.” But I never thought about it the same way as I did when I realized I have cancer, when it hit me that —

I might actually have a limitation to "all the days of my life." 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not quietly dying of cancer. My treatments are going well. But it was earth-shattering to sit and consider how the life I take for granted might change. I realized I have a lot more punchy things to say, and a lot less holding back. 

If I have a limited amount of time to say what God has given me to say, I want to go ahead and get it all out there right now, instead of holding back for fear of what people would think. 

Or fear of other people taking it the wrong way. 
Or fear of other people’s condemnation. 
Or envy. 
Or jealousy. 
Or misunderstanding. 

None of that is worth it. 

What I need to do instead is...

• go ahead and be bold enough to say what God has called me to say... anyway. 

• heal in any way God is calling me to heal... anyway. 

• refuse to worried about externals, and peripherals, and people's opinions, and how things look on the outside—

• as long as I’m actually doing what God has called me to do on the inside. 

I watched the President of our country announce that W.H.O. declared a COVID-19 pandemic. There are cases in my city, where I’m living. I know people traveling whose return trips have been cancelled leaving them stranded for weeks in other countries. As a cancer patient, I have a compromised immune system—even though I’ve typically been healthy—I still have to take extra precautions.

We should be cautious about risks. But we also cannot let risk stop us from living out the things that God has called us to do. 

When we get a diagnosis like cancer, or when there is a global pandemic like the coronavirus, we tend to live in fear. 

We tend to go on lockdown. 

We enter shutdown. 
We curl up into ourselves. 
We try to get away from all the possible things that might hurt us. 

We do that a lot with abuse too. When we’re living in the environment of abuse, we tend to curl up into ourselves and hide away from the world and when we do that, the Bible says it “dries out our bones.”

This morning I read Ezekiel 37, about the valley of dry bones. Now, whether or not you’re a cancer patient, or you’re living in fear of coronavirus -- I don’t know. Whatever is inspiring fear in your life right now, whatever you are afraid of, whatever is sucking the life out of your bones, leaving you with dry bones, here’s what I want to remind you of; 

“The Lord took hold of me, and I was carried away by the Spirit of the Lord to a valley filled with bones. He led me all around among the bones that covered the valley floor. They were scattered everywhere across the ground and were completely dried out.” (vs. 1-2, NLT) 

No marrow left. 
No life. 
Nothing. 

“Then he asked me, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?” (v. 3a) Maybe you’ve felt that way. Maybe you’ve felt like your bones are completely dried out. Like there’s just nothing that will make you feel like a living person again... 

Abuse will dry out your bones. 

Toxic friendships will do that to us. 
A toxic workplace can suck the life from your bones. 
An abusive marriage can do the same. 

"Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’” 

So I spoke this message, just as he told me. Suddenly as I spoke, there was a rattling noise all across the valley. The bones of each body came together and attached themselves as complete skeletons. 

Then as I watched, muscles and flesh formed over the bones. Then skin formed to cover their bodies, but they still had no breath in them. Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to the winds, son of man. Speak a prophetic message and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into these dead bodies so they may live again.’” (vs. 4-9 )

If you feel like your journey has sucked the life out of your now-dry bones, or if you're at the stage where God has put the bones back together and you are still waiting for breath, this is what He can do; 

“So I spoke the message as he commanded me, and breath came into their bodies. They all came to life and stood up on their feet—a great army.” (v. 10)

I believe that from those who have been through abuse, those who have survived into warriors on the other side, that God is raising up a great army to push back against abusive systems. 

Abusive patterns.
Abusive behaviors.
Replacing the lack of education with awareness and discernment. 

I believe God is raising up a vast army, breathing life into your dryness. Building back muscle and sinew and flesh and skin over our dry bones, for one purpose -- so you and I can share the word of the Lord.

Of how He heals. 
Of how He saves.

Even after we felt like our bones were sucked out from the marrow and completely dried up. 

Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones represent the people of Israel. They are saying, ‘We have become old, dry bones—all hope is gone. Our nation is finished.’ Therefore, prophesy to them and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: O my people, I will open your graves of exile and cause you to rise again. 

Then I will bring you back to the land of Israel. When this happens, O my people, you will know that I am the Lord. I will put my Spirit in you, and you will live again and return home to your own land. Then you will know that I, the Lord, have spoken, and I have done what I said. Yes, the Lord has spoken!’” (vs. 11-14)

If your bones are dry, 
if you’re battling health issues, 
if you’re battling fear because of global pandemics,
if you’re battling terror because of where you live at home, in the environment and the atmosphere of your household or your workplace... 

God’s promise to you is this:
He can take your dry bones, and He can make you live again. 

So that, finally, you will no longer be living in fear.

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Support Group>>WILD TraumaMamas: Because Momming After Trauma isn't for the Faint of Heart