Let's talk about living in truth.

You cannot heal without a deeply connected relationship with what is true. Healing to this point takes time when you have been conditioned to believe lies about yourself, your environment, God, and other people -- for a very long time.

But if you want to heal into strength, a strong relationship with truth is crucial. You can't tell the truth to others about others -- until you are first willing to do what it takes to tell yourself the truth about yourself. As long as you are telling yourself comforting lies, cover-up lies, smooth-it-over lies... you're not living in the light of what is true.

You can't even begin to rebuild until you've faced the truth about how bad it was, and taken inventory of everyone's role in the harm you've experienced.

This is a heavy conversation to have. It requires willingness to embrace a vulnerable and profoundly powerful relationship with the truth about ourselves, for ourselves.

This conversation can't even begin to happen when you're seeking safety. The Safety Season is not the right time to discuss truth and inventory.

This conversation is still inappropriate when you're building stability. The Stability Season is not yet safe to enter into the truthfulness needed for self-reflection and forgiveness.

This process requires a depth of honesty that is only available once you've reached the Strength Season. It requires humility. It requires being willing to completely reassess and restructure and reconstruct and then meticulously rebuild everything you may have assumed was true.

This phase of the journey means means letting go of every corner of darkness and cloud and shadow in your own life. It's the path we take toward living in the light.

If you're not ready for this yet... that's okay. Focus on finding safety. Focus on cultivating stability. Don't feel pressured to jump ahead into a phase you don't have the foundation ready for.

If the very idea of self-reflection and inventory triggers you, then this is not the time. Jump to a post that meets your needs for the season you're in.

But if you are in the season of Strength, then maybe it's time to delve into a discussion about which true things may have eluded you so far. Sometimes the hardest thing about letting go of the survival instinct to smooth things over and make other people feel okay even when they are doing harm.

Survivors often tell themselves untruths in order to feel better when living in danger. In order to heal, we have to become willing to gradually cultivate a radical relationship with truth. Step by step, piece by piece.

How do we begin?

Start by asking yourself questions. Start by assessing...

• Is this thing true?

• Is this honest or is it a falsehood intended to make things easier?

• If this is not true, then what is the truth? Where is the truth?

One highly effective way to saturate the mind with truth is by reading God's word. The Psalms are a great place to start. Isaiah has fantastic passages about what is true

The truth about justice.
The truth about doing good.
The truth about God's heart for the abused.

I released an album on iTunes and Spotify international with a series of soothing scripture meditations specifically to make this process easier.

But what do you do when someone around you refuses to focus on what is true?

You can only believe some of what they say, and perhaps when they sidestep truth they apologize later. But their dominant pattern of behavior is to avoid, withdraw, and recoil from facing what is true... especially when the truth might capsize their sense of normalcy, or their illusion of control.

When someone's words and actions don't align, ignore the words and track the actions. Believe what they do. That's your baseline. People can say anything. But what do they do? That's what reveals their character.

The principle doesn't only apply to abusers tho. It applies to survivors as well.

What we do matters.
Our patterns of behavior matter.
The alignment of our words and actions matter.
Our willingness to release old coping mechanisms and embrace new skills matters.

Because lasting healing hinges on living with an unwavering focus on what is true.

If you’re wondering which season of healing you’re in right now, be sure to grab the Seasons of Healing workshop today! "Seasons of Healing" Launches You on the Path to:

• reclaim your voice from the silence.

• pierce the fog of cognitive dissonance.

• live in radical commitment to truth.

• take back control of your choices.

(Or join the SCOOP and get any workshop, course, or coaching for 15% OFF!)

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