Family Movie Night | ENCANTO: Why We Feel So Much | Podcast

Why does Encanto make us cry, dance, and feel everything all at once?

Listen to the podcast here:

Because it’s more than a kids’ movie. It’s a masterclass in family systems, survival responses, and what happens when emotional pain goes unspoken for generations.

In Episode 9 of This WILD Journey, we crack open the trauma-informed layers of Encanto—revealing what lies beneath the surface of the magic.

🧠 Sarah and Bren walk through each Madrigal character and how they mirror common trauma survival responses in real families:

• Luisa = Overfunctioning, “I’m only valuable if I’m useful”

• Isabela = Perfectionism, shrinking to stay liked

• Bruno = Disappearing to stay safe

• Mirabel = Truth-teller who gets dismissed

• Pepa = Emotional dysregulation, stormy suppression

We talk about nervous system responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), how these patterns show up in your body, and why healing starts when someone finally sees the cracks in the system.

💬 Here’s What You’ll Learn:

• How Encanto reflects real-life survival patterns in trauma-impacted families

• Why resting can feel like a threat when your value is tied to fixing or carrying

• How to start powerful, healing conversations with your kids (without lectures)

• What happens when silence and shame get passed down through generations

🎁 FREE RESOURCE

Encanto Family Discussion Guide

Want to turn your next movie night into a moment of healing?

Download our trauma-informed printable—perfect for sparking connection with kids, teens, and grown-ups alike.

💬 Favorite Moments from the Episode:

“If love and belonging have always depended on performance, then slowing down can feel like the floor might drop out.” — Bren

“What you bury, you marry. If you don’t name it, it’ll leak out sideways. And it won’t stop showing up in your body, your relationships, your parenting.” — Sarah

Catch this episode on YouTube:

MEET YOUR HOSTS:

🧠 Sarah McDugal – high-conflict communication strategist guiding protective parents through family court chaos with integrity, clarity, and calm under pressure (no tiptoeing, no legalese, no playing nice with coercive control)

🧬 Bren Wise Mays – neuro-sensory wellness provider translating wild-but-true neuroscience into real-world tools for resolving toxic or traumatic stress (no fluff, no fakery, no bypassing—just real regulation)

Together, we blend somatic support, legal strategy, and zero-BS tools to help you stop spiraling and start thriving.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Sarah: Hey friends! Welcome back to This WILD Journey.

Today we are diving into a Disney movie that made half of us cry, the other half dance in our kitchens, and all of us feel something deep.

This the beginning of a series we are doing on popular family movies and how to spot red flags, recognize signs of trauma, and have really deep life changing discussions with your kids... your whole family.

So today we are talking about Encanto. This is one of two that we're going to do about Encanto, and today I've got my favorite trauma educator, Coach Bren right here with me.

Bren, I know you love this movie maybe as much as I do, maybe even more. Why don't you tell us, why does Encanto hit so many of us so hard?

Bren: Encanto speaks the language of the senses. It's visually stunning. It's full of great music, but underneath the beauty it shows a family living in quiet survival. And so...

Sarah: I'm not sure how quiet they are, but yeah.

Bren: Well, the survival part is quiet. It's under the surface. 

Sarah: Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm.

Bren: But each character is doing whatever they can to just hold things.

Sarah: Under the surface.

That's actually one of the songs. But

I know. I love that song.

each character's 

Bren: really just doing whatever they can to just hold things together, and you can see it in how they act and how they move and how they relate to each other.

Sarah: Yeah, so let's go there. Just dive right in. I mean, you've talked in many other episodes about how trauma doesn't exist in the event. It lives in the body, in the nervous system, and we carry it forward with us. How do we see that in Encanto, in the movie?

Bren: Right. Trauma isn't the moment itself. It's what happens inside you when your sense of safety shatters.

Sarah: Right.

Bren: And unless that gets resolved, your system can stay stuck in protection mode long after the threat's gone in in canto. Each family member responds in a different way, each one reflecting a survival pattern. So Luisa takes on too much, you know, always in go mode, carrying everything until she breaks. Isabela performs perfection, staying small and acceptable to keep, to keep the peace. just disappears. He hides because being seen feels too dangerous. Pepa's emotions spill all over. She tries to stay calm, but the storm is always just beneath the surface. And Mirabel? She sees the truth, she gets dismissed for even naming it.

Sarah: Yeah. And, and that's when, that's that moment when the casita starts to crack. It's like this visual metaphor for what's happening inside the family. I have to say, I was able to relate to something from almost every character, not just one.

And I, I really happen to love Bruno's character because I feel like he's the autistic neurodivergent one who just gets erased, but he's there on the other side of the walls...

Bren: yeah.

Sarah: just as close as he can get without being perceived.

Anyway, that, that's probably a whole different episode on Neurodivergence. Maybe we should come back to that. If you're listening and you'd like us to come back to that, let us know.

But when the Casita starts to crack, the system itself... the whole system is crumbling under the pressure that everyone is feeling.

Bren: I as far as Bruno, same, but also Mirabel, because Mirabel notices

Sarah: Yeah.

Bren: the patterns. She's the truth seeker, the truth teller, but Mira bel can feel that something's wrong, but she gets gaslit. She's told, she's just imagining it and she senses the strain before anyone else is willing to admit it. And when she speaks up, she's not met with curiosity. She's treated like she's the problem. And that's a story so many survivors know. You feel the tension, you speak the truth, everyone just says, " you're overreacting. Stop making waves. Just, just be grateful."

Sarah: Or we don't talk about Bruno! No, I mean the song is catchy, but the message underneath is all about silence and shame. It reminds me of just how much grief and fear and unprocessed trauma, they don't disappear. They just go underground, behind the walls, behind the facade, and then they show up in our bodies.

Bren: Yep, exactly. It's a survival strategy. If we don't talk about it, maybe it'll go away, but what doesn't get named gets buried and what gets buried still shows up tension illness. exhaustion It doesn't stay silent. can hear it in Luisa's song. "I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service."

Now, that's not just a lyric. That's what it feels like when your nervous system links your worth to how much you carry or fix or achieve.

Sarah: You know, one of the things that I tell clients so often is that what you bury, you marry.

If you shove it down underneath, you're married to it for as long as it stays stuffed. And it will start to rott under the surface and the poison from that, it will leak underground and start to come up to the surface underground and sideways. Like a network of gopher holes and tunnels just pops up everywhere else, even though you think you've buried it. So I, I really want listeners to catch that. If your value has been tied to how much you do or carry or fix, then you are going to be clinging to whatever trauma is related to these things.

And you know, one of the results of that is that resting no longer feels relaxing. It feels dangerous. It feels like you're at risk.

Bren: Yea, and it can feel like a failure.

But really it's your body just trying to keep you safe and the only way it knows how. If love and belonging have always depended on performance, then slowing down can feel like the floor might drop out. That's why this stuff matters.

If we don't name those patterns, we end up passing them down silently and automatically even when we don't want to.

Sarah: Exactly, and they will continue to get passed down from generation to generation until someone like Mirabel is able to see it and begin to name it. And then the structure starts to crack.

So talk to me about the nervous system. Can you break it down for the parent who's listening and who's thinking, "oh my goodness, I see this. I want to stop this. I am Mirabel. I see the problems and everything's fracturing! How do I help my kids, myself, not pass this on? I want to break out of this cycle."

What does this parent need to do?

Bren: Think of your nervous system, like your body's internal radar, okay? constantly scanning for cues.

Okay.

Am I safe? Can I let down my guard, do I need to stay alert?

When your body feels safe and your nervous system feels safe, it opens up you can connect and laugh and play and create.

When something feels off, your nervous system shifts into protection mode and you might lash out try to fix everything or control everything. That's fight.

Or you could rush to escape or stay busy or outrun the stress that's flight.

Or you could shut down and go numb or mentally check out. That's freeze.

You could over accommodate just to stay liked or feel safer. That's fawn.

Each of the Madrigals is stuck in one of those trauma responses, not because they're flawed, but because they reflect real patterns we see in real families when they're stressed, when they're under a lot of toxic stress. And the healing begins when they finally start seeing each other's pain and not just their performance.

Sarah: But the healing starts right when they finally start seeing each other, not for what they can do, but seeing how much each other has been carrying.

And we see that actually in the film. Now and not in every family does this actually get seen and handled well? But I loved how Encanto handled this. Because there's this point when Abuela finally sees what she's done and owns her fear.

Bren: When abuela finally recognizes the fear she's been, operating from how it has shaped everyone else, it cracks something open. Bruno comes back and the truth that they tried to silence becomes the key to healing. And Mirabel is finally seen the family gets a chance to begin again, not from pressure or perfection, but from honesty, authenticity, genuine care. The house collapses, but the

Right.

stronger because now they're building on truth. And not fear.

Sarah: So, so good. I, I, I think it's important to point out that the house does collapse. The system cracks wide open. It crumbles, it falls to the ground, and sometimes that has to happen for things to heal.

I mean that's another thing we could talk about a whole lot is when you're the person who is the ones seeing this stuff and talking about it like Mirabel did.

It can be really terrifying when everything starts to crumble and crack. And there can be people in your family system who do not want that to happen. But you know, we're gonna get deeper into more in the next episode, 'cause we're doing two episodes on Encanto right now.

Next time you're interviewing me, and we're gonna go all in on those deeper relational dynamics, the control and manipulation, and entitlement and unspoken pressure. And talk about what happens when survival strategies become family norms.

Bren: Y'all do not wanna miss that. the things a lot of us felt growing up, but just didn't have the words for, and we're pulling the curtain all the way back on the unhealthy patterns you can now spot in Encanto and maybe even in your own story.

Sarah: And we're, we're showing how to start writing a news story from the inside out. Speaking of Inside Out, we're gonna be doing a series on that too, after we do Encanto, but one thing at a time.

Hey, before you go. Wanna turn your next movie night into a powerful tool for emotional growth for yourself and your kids. Don't forget to download our free one sheet. Family Movie Night in Kato, a simple, heartfelt trauma-informed discussion guide for all ages. It helps you talk with your whole family about trauma, spot harmful relationship patterns, and build healthier emotional safety all through the stories and the films that your family already loves.

Get yours, download it free at the link in the show notes below.

Alright, friends, if this episode gave you language for something you felt that maybe you couldn't name, or helped you see your story in a new way, would you do us a favor?

Share this with a friend, leave us a review with your thoughts, and thank you for being part of This WILD Journey. You do not have to travel This WILD Journey alone. We will see you next time for part two.