Getting Started as an Abuse Advocate: 5 Keys to Avoid Common Mistakes

Q: Could you share the top five ways that someone like me can begin making a difference in the advocacy space? I would be grateful for your wisdom on where I can start, how to avoid common pitfalls, and how to connect with the broader network of advocates already doing this vital work.

A: This is a great question, and I'm happy to share some of the things I've learned along the way.

1 - Be A Safe Person First

First of all, the starting line of effectiveness is simply to talk and listen with people in your community and be a safe space for those who are processing through the recognition of red flags.

There is a lot of solid material in this arena which you can pass on for free to those who are trying to untangle their reality. The IS THIS ABUSE? mini-course, and corresponding awareness posters (intentionally designed for posting in bathroom stalls!) are some that you are welcome to use and share as much as you want!

Free Resource Links:
http://ideservetoknow.com/isthisabuse
https://www.wildernesstowild.com/awareness-posters

2 - Refer to Professionals

Second, one of the most common pitfalls I observe among advocates is the desire to try and fix dangerous situations on their own, instead of referring survivors in crisis to established professional resources such as Domestic Violence Shelters or local Family Justice Centers.

Of course we can do good by helping, but we can also cause unwitting harm. If someone is genuinely in danger and they do NOT go to a recognized shelter or services center, then the courts are less likely to take their claims of abuse or fear seriously later. Referring victims to formal, professional services is the best, safest way to start a paper trail that will help them prove the truth of their case in the long run.

3 - Distrust Yourself

Third, another common pitfall is the innate assumption that because we have read books or done trainings or even survived abuse ourselves -- that we can always tell who the abuser is. Yes, very often we can... but sometimes we can't.

It's safest to stay humble about our own knowledge, staying aware of the limits of our own expertise and seek input and wisdom from wise mentors regularly. Every wise mentor I have known, still turns around and seeks input from others who have even more experience than themselves.

4 - Empower Toward Autonomy

Fourth, as advocates we must never NEVER take over someone's power of choice - not even when we believe they are making the wrong decision.

If we try to tell, push, persuade, or manipulate someone to do what we think is best, we are unwittingly stepping into their abuser's shoes and continuing to control them. Our role as advocates is always to uplift and empower their own God-given right to make decisions for themselves.

5 - Trust Slowly

Fifth, be cautious about extending trust quickly. The advocacy world, like all fields of ministry, is unfortunately populated with territorial, controlling individuals (and sometimes even sheisters) who are not actually working for the best good of the victims around them.

Use your discernment, and wait to extend trust as it is gradually earned over a season of time.

Advocacy is sacred work. It asks us to walk with survivors through some of the darkest valleys of their lives while refusing to become rescuers, controllers, or know-it-alls ourselves. If you can stay grounded, keep learning, and empower others toward their own autonomy—you’ll already be making a real difference.

At WILD Institute, we’re passionate about equipping clarity coaches and advocates with the tools to do this work with integrity, wisdom, and resilience.

If this resonates with you—and you feel called to go deeper in your training—I invite you to join the waitlist for WILD Institute's Clarity Coach Training. You’ll be the first to know when the next cohort opens, and you’ll get early access to resources designed to help you grow as a safe, trustworthy guide for those finding their way out of abuse.

👉 Get More Info and Join the Waitlist Here