There is a deeply destructive teaching circulating in far too many Christian circles:

⛔️ that staying married — no matter the cost, no matter the harm — is the highest form of godliness.
⛔️ that preserving the appearance of marriage is more important than preserving the lives and souls of the people inside it.
⛔️ that it is more holy to suffer in silence than to disrupt the facade.

It sounds pious.
It sounds noble.
It even dresses itself up in the language of sacrifice and faithfulness.

But make no mistake — it is idolatry.

It teaches that staying married — no matter the cost, no matter the harm — is the highest form of righteousness.

It proclaims that preserving the image of marriage is more important than preserving the lives and souls of the people living inside it. It whispers that protecting the façade is holier than protecting the vulnerable.

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This theology baptizes dysfunction.
It sanctifies silence.
It sacrifices human dignity on the altar of human institutions.
And it could not be further from the heart of God.

Let me say this without apology:

Marriage is sacred WHEN it reflects the character of God — NOT when it hides the character of evil.

👉🏽 I AM FOR MARRIAGE 👈🏽

I am FOR marriages that are havens of trust, respect, honor, faithfulness, and safety.

I am FOR marriages that protect the vulnerable, that nurture human flourishing, that mirror Christ’s love for the Church.

I am FOR marriages where BOTH flawed human partners are actively engaged in the messy but rewarding process of humbly loving, deeply learning, intentionally growing, self-improving, recalibrating healthy goals, repairing after miscommunications, and granting grace for life’s minor annoyances.

But...

I am NOT for marriages that elevate image over integrity.

I am NOT for marriages where harm is baptized as “growth opportunities” or betrayal is minimized as “mutual struggle” or one partner exhibits a pattern of entitlement at the expense of the other’s wellbeing.

I am NOT for calling bondage “sacrifice,” or calling silence “submission,” or calling silent acquiescence to desecration “faithfulness.”

When a marriage becomes a safe haven for deception, coercion, violence, addiction, betrayal, or domination — it has already been broken before God long before anyone ever filed a piece of paper with a human governing agency.

The sin that destroys marriage is NOT the decision to walk away from destruction and chronic harm.
The sin that destroys marriage is the unchecked abuse, the entitled betrayal, the arrogant refusal to repent.
The sin is the betrayal, the violence, the manipulation, the unrepentant selfishness that made the marriage a lie long before anyone ever packed a suitcase.

God is not glorified by cages gilded as chapels.

Any marriage that requires someone to betray their own sanity, safety, or soul in order to preserve the family photo is not a reflection of God’s covenant — it is a reflection of human idolatry.

God never calls His children to bow to golden calves — not even ones shaped like wedding rings. He is not impressed by institutions propped up on the broken backs of the betrayed.

God calls us to truth over facade, justice over appearances, mercy over manipulation, life over death.

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However...

• If your theology demands the sacrifice of human dignity to preserve human institutions —

• If it requires loyalty to a structure instead of loyalty to the sacredness of the image of God in each person —

...then your theology serves idols, not the living Christ.

And if you dare to suggest that protecting the institution matters more than protecting the Imago Dei in every man, woman, and child — then you have traded the Gospel for a variation of the very first lie.

God’s heart is not for marriages to be saved at the expense of actual hurting people.
God’s heart is for PEOPLE to be saved (even if it costs the marriage).

Truth does not destroy what is truly sacred.
Truth only destroys the lies that masquerade as sacred.

And any leader, pastor, counselor, or therapist who shames the wounded for seeking safety — while accusing them of “casually abandoning marriage” — is not a guardian of sacred covenant…

…but rather a mouthpiece for a toxic, unbiblical theology of coercion and control.

#MarriageIsForLifeNotForDeath
#SacredOverSham
#GodLovesPeopleMoreThanInstitutions
#HealingIsHoliness

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